We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
