Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
