I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
