I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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