I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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