She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
