i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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