Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
