he thought i was a dude.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
