i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I want to be your penis for a week.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
