I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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