I love black thongs
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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