get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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