That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
