god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
