So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize