I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
