It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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