Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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