Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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