whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
