That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize