He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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