Fuck appropriateness.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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