somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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