Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
