Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize