come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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