flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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