kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
