it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
