New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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