3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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