so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
