Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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