is your mom at the bar?
You work out of a Hotel?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
