All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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