Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
