jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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