did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
