I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize