Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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