There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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