It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
