anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
