Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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