my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
