4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
