She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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