sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
