I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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