Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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