some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
