He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
