When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
