she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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