God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
no, he came in my armpit
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
