sarcasm needs its own font
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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