so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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