I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There's always time for handjobs
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
