What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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